the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
