He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
