I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
