No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
