he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
