YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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