Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
