I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
