She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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