Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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