Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
