so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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