pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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