Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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