And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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