forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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