But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
