doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
