Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
