She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
