Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
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Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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