How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
