I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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