Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
