i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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