This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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