He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
