...so i touched it.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
