I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
