I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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