I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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