Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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