By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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