i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
