I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
