I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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