Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
