remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize