I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
