Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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