the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
