This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
