if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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