Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if only i could text you this smell
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
