I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
