God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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