im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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