i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
