When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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