eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
well you can't waste a boner
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
