11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
