hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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