I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
