I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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