Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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