btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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