the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
