she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In America we eat man semen.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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