this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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