Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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