ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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