i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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